A friend recently shared this on Facebook. (I don't know who originally wrote so no credit is given. Apologies for not knowing original source.)
"You're so lucky you have such a good husband..."
No.
It isn't luck.
There's nothing lucky about our marriage.
I think we need to stop painting the picture of a happy marriage that doesn't come through hard work.
Any couple who has a healthy, happy marriage that has last 10, 20, 30 or even 50 years didn't get there by luck.
They didn't just stay happily married.
They sacrificed.
They forgave.
They rebuilt trust that was broken.
They apologized.
They kept trying.
They got help when they were stuck.
They kept dating.
They got help when they were stuck.
The made time for each other.
They learned how to communicate.
They cared more about the marriage than their pride.
There was nothing lucky about the marriage.
They worked.
They worked hard for one another.
The truth is- there is no happily ever after without the blood, the sweat and the tears.
The truth is you can't get to happy without going the hard way.
Your marriage is worth working for.
Rooting for you.
Excuse me while I get on my soapbox for a minute. No, actually, don't excuse me! FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!
Yes, there are absolutely reasons for a divorce. In Matthew 5:32, the Bible says: "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." I would also "argue" (for lack of a better word) that abuse (mental, physical, and/or emotional) without acknowledgement, admission, and attempt to change is also just cause.
But, since when do we just "give up"? Since when do we just throw in the towel because you found something "better"? I love the quote that says "the grass isn't always greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it". Water the freaking grass! Get counseling, communicate, talk through issues / concerns / everything, but most importantly, put God first. Always. A family that prays together stays together. I should have done a better job of this. I didn't. A divorce is not one person's fault. It's both. So, fight like hell to water the grass where you are and make it work.
Throughout this experience, I have seen so much PAIN and HURT show in ways it never should. The ripple effect one decision can have is quite impressive. That may be a bad decision...or a good decision, but the ripple still happens. And, sometimes, the ripple goes much further and deeper than you ever expected it to. That's great if it's a "good" thing, but obviously not great if it's a "bad" thing. Divorce sucks. The ripples can be brutal. There are GREAT examples of civil divorces, but the others - the ones where anger and resentment seem to fester more and more as time goes on - are simply disgusting and exhausting.
So, fight for your marriage. You got married for a reason...focus on that, build on it, and set a good example for those around you. Perhaps, a little hard work would go a long way...
Until next time... Kari [xoxo]
