Perhaps a little background would help to understand the "significance" of this picture. You see, up until 2021, I would have NEVER even considered taking a picture without make-up on. And, for goodness sake, I certainly wouldn't post it for the world to see. I would have focused on the acne scars...a constant reminder of the years of Retin-A, Cephalexin, and Accutane. Or, more recently, I would see the wrinkles. I may have dwelled on the shiny complexion - a result of the Anti-Aging Arbonne products used to halt and/or (hopefully) reverse the damage. Then, I’d start analyzing the difference between my complexion and Leah's? Could it be the 28 year age difference? What about the life circumstances that have undoubtedly made me age at a ridiculously fast pace? Or, did the years of sun exposure and "fake baking" to achieve that 1990s year-round tanned skin look take its toll?
The truth is...I can pick apart this picture for a hundred different reasons. I could have immediately deleted it from my camera roll to avoid being reminded of my "scary" look. Or...I can look at it and CHOOSE to see something completely different. And, maybe, just maybe, this new view will allow me to see the good. A friend once told me that "scars tell a story." I had never thought of it that way. But, they do. And, so do the wrinkles. The old Kari would have seen the ugly of this picture.
The new Kari sees the beauty in it. I see the joy in both my face and Leah's. I see the "real-ness" in both of us. I see the simplicity I desire for daily. I see the genuine smile on Leah's face. I see a Mom and Daughter spending MUCH needed quality time together. I see love. I see comfort. I see peace. And, for once, I see "me" for "me" - no one else. I see a woman who has chosen to rise in the face of adversity. Those eyes have cried many tears in the last six months. But, for once, I am finally "just me." What you see is what you get. And, honestly, take it or leave it (quite literally…as some have).
But, here's what I have learned...It's ok to live your life for others -- it's ok to desire to please others out of love and/or care and concern. It's not ok to change who you fundamentally are in an attempt to make others happy. That's not fair to you - or anyone, for that matter. Nope. Be YOU. Do YOU. Be the person God created you to be. He made YOU on purpose, with a purpose, and for a purpose (thanks, Pastor Ryan). It's true - God has a plan for YOU. Attempting to change who you are only screws up that plan. I don't know about you, but I long for the day that God's plan comes together so I can finally see the "master plan."
Maybe - just maybe, you and I are already living out God's plan. Sometimes we become so focused on the outcome that we forget to enjoy the process and see the beauty along the way. Much like my scars and wrinkles, they tell a story and maybe even some pretty crazy ones. My current "look" might not be the prettiest or most beautiful, but what I have learned is that it's not necessarily the outcome that matters, but the stories and experiences along the way. Your journey, triumphs, struggles, and battles make up your story, but they don't define you. Use them for your benefit and to help others. Use them to learn and grow - always remembering to remain true to yourself and, most importantly, God. It may require a change in perspective. Sometimes those aren't easy, but necessary. Look around...find the good...and grow. Embrace the scars and wrinkles. And, for goodness sake, be YOU.
I can't wait to watch you soar. Enjoy the journey and be confident that God's plan is a good one. I'll be here waiting to hear your story...scars and all.
Until next time...Kari [xoxo]
So good. Glad you have come this far! God bless you on the rest of your journey!
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